Everyone has heard of or seen the infamous show You playing on Netflix since late 2017. Although I also find myself immersed in this murder series, many viewers are growing a concerning attraction for Joe Goldberg, the psycho narrator who stalks every woman in his vicinity. Even Penn Badgley, the actor who plays Goldberg, has grown increasingly concerned for the thousands of fans that are obsessed with his character. In fact, Badgley claims that he feels his boundaries being tested as an actor whenever he plays Goldberg, sharing that he finds himself “surprisingly disgusted” at the scenes he performs. The actor constantly reminds his fans that they shouldn’t feel any affection towards the maniac, stating: “Goldberg’s not actually a person who just needs somebody who loves him. He’s abusive. He’s delusional. And he’s self-obsessed.” Despite locking humans in glass cages and letting them rot alive, people continue to perceive his lunatic crimes as romantic gestures they yearn for. At this point, it seems like fans are literally asking to be murdered. So, why is everyone obsessed with this scrawny serial killer?
The concept of people being attracted to dangerous men isn’t anything new. The “bad boy” appeal has existed for quite a long time, persisting in many genres from action to rom-coms. While most of the “bad boys” seen in media are typically attractive physically, many are attracted to more than just the seductive, messy-hair look worn by rebellious characters, such as Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries (if you’ve never heard of this man before, I’ll attach a photo to give you an idea of what a typical “bad
boy” looks like). Psychology has explained that people are even more pulled in by the characteristics and personality of a delinquent. A few examples of these characteristics include narcissism, which is lack of empathy due to selfishness, vindictiveness, and friskiness: all traits that our favorite Joe Goldberg displays. According to a 2016 study that analyzed the relationship between attractiveness and narcissism, it was found that narcissism is a charm for both men and women, somehow pulling people in. The same can be said for psychopathy: scientists revealed that women find appeal in pursuing a relationship with psychopaths. Individuals who lack logical emotional responses and empathy for anyone other than themselves somehow pull people in like a magnet. Joe Goldberg is the prime example of this: in Season 1 of You, Goldberg became obsessed with Beck, a charming blonde woman he ran into while working at a bookstore. From his very first interaction with Beck, Goldberg had planned out his entire future with this woman, prepared to do anything to pursue her. By the end of the season, he ended up killing Beck’s almost-boyfriend and best friend due to both of them growing suspicious of Goldberg’s malicious intentions. In every way possible, this man has demonstrated the complete opposite of empathy for anyone other than himself and his selfish romantic desires, and viewers are attracted to this narcissistic and psychopathic behavior. So, even though we understand that people are attracted to Goldberg's narcissism and psychopathy, WHY are people attracted to these personality disorders in the first place?
Although Goldberg is killing innocent human beings, many viewers are romanticizing the motive behind his murders. "Sure, he killed eighteen people, but it's kinda romantic that he's doing so much for the woman he loves", says thousands of fans on TikTok. In one viral TikTok which received 60.3 thousand likes, a user made a fan edit of Joe Goldberg and included a photo of blood all over his face; the photo was taken after he killed another one of his victims. The most-liked comment on the video says "he's not a killer guys he's just misunderstood my bae does no wrong". Another comment claims "need my man to be like him", meaning the commenter inspires for her future partner to act like Goldberg. A similar rising TikTok with 286.3 thousand likes features comments like "Just my type 😍" and "I don't know, but he makes being a stalker look so good and hot". Even though this user admits that Goldberg is a crazy stalker, they still somehow find his lunatic behavior hot. Behavioral scientist Clarissa Silva explained that due to how low dating standards have become in modern society, people are captivated by crazy manipulative plans made in the name of love. When an individual pays incredible attention-to-detail on how to win someone over, the gesture is seen as romantic rather than weirdly obsessive. This explains why viewers are attracted to Goldberg's narcissism and psychopathy: in their eyes, he's killing so many people just to win a girl's heart. No matter how heartless it is to murder someone, Goldberg's psychopathic behavior is perceived as romantic as he's doing it all in the name of love. Not only are viewers are attracted to him, but some of them even feel pity for him. In fact, many have admitted to secretly rooting for him during his never-ending killing spree. In the second season of the show, viewers are shown multiple flashbacks of Goldberg's traumatic childhood; many clips featured moments of his mother being abused by her boyfriend while young Goldberg stood idly in the corner, helpless. Later, a dramatic scene reveals that he shot and killed his mother's boyfriend in his early-teenage years. These flashbacks led to many viewers feeling sorry for Goldberg as they indicated the reasons for why he became a serial killer later in his life. Goldberg-lovers began to justify his craziness, claiming that his rocky childhood and lack of attention growing up led to the way he is now. Joe Goldberg's manipulation has worked so well that people who are a whole screen away are still touched by him. Whether it's pity or attraction, most fans have somehow found an excuse to like this psychopath. We can definitely say that the show You has succeeded in making the bad guy look like the forgivable good guy.
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